sorority recruitment:here's the sitch

PSa: Please keep in mind, not everyone has the same experience with the recruitment process or sororities and this post is based only on my experience. I will not be naming any sorority names other than mine to protect your views of each sorority in case you would like to go through recruitment. an open unbiased mind is the best way to experience it!

so let's talk

I had heard all of the horror stories about recruitment and sororities before. you know the ones: how they are mean, airheads, skinny, perfect, blonde, cultish or all of the above. however, something still drew me to the thoughts of having sisters for life or lifelong bonds & friends. I didn't grow up with many girls I could call true friends so the idea of having friends at all was a good idea to me.

I found my home at the university of Kentucky my sophomore year in college and decided that I would go through the recruitment process and take my chances. I signed up and payed a fee of $175 to cover my recruitment t-shirts and the cost of lunch and some other things I needed to go through the process. once the day came, i met my gamma chi leader and my group. my gamma chi was there for emotional support and to make the process go smoothly and my group was about 10 girls on my hall floor going through the process with me.

once the process started there was a set schedule to do everything within 2 weeks and ultimately, hopefully end up with a forever home.

round 1: open house- my group and I had to wear a certain outfit within set guidelines for the weeks. the set outfits for these days were 2 of our t-shirts, shorts, and comfortable shoes. we then set off to meet every sorority in the 2 days: every group had a different number of sororities to meet in a day and time schedule that eventually added up to 14 in those two days. talk about some walking! I think my phone calculated about 10 miles each day. when we met the sororities we would wait outside and they would all greet us with a chant or song while we walked in. while waiting outside, I remember being really nervous because I would hear other girls saying that they either knew they liked or didn't like the certain sororities based on instagrams and social media standing. I found myself very overwhelmed that I didn't know anything about any of the individual sororities and thought I was in over my head. but I kept an open mind going through the whole process which in turn made my experience better. after waiting, we'd be taken by a girl assigned to us and would get to talk with them for about ten minutes until girl #2 came out and talked to us.. this would usually repeat for 2, 3, or 4 girls. they would ask us why we are interested in joining, my answer was always that I looked for friendship and academic support as well as volunteer opportunities. then they would tell us about the sorority and what they liked about it and introduce us to the next girl. after this round we would meet back up with our group and all sit down and rank the sororities 1-14 based on our experience and turn it in to our gamma chi.

ranking- after each round of recruitment we would have to rank the sororities into a different set of numbers. each round getting smaller. for example round 1 you might rank top 10 and leave a bottom 4 based on your experience and in turn the sororities are doing their rankings (I have never participated in recruitment even as a member of sorority so I'm not sure what they are based on). after each round you get back a list and have a personalized schedule from now on depending on your ranks and who you got back. meaning if you put a sorority in your top 5 and they did not put you in their top list, you will not go back to that sorority.

round 2: philanthropy - the outfit for these days were a little cuter, being a casual romper or a dressy skirt with a nice shirt and sandals. after ranking my sororities from the first round, everyone had a chance to get back 10 or so sororities and I got back 7.this meant that out of my top 10 and bottom 4 only 7 wanted me back. this was for various reasons. where I was a sophomore, they were not using my high school gpa like the freshman girls, they were using my college gpa which was lower than some requirements. I remember being really disappointed and feeling very insecure because I would hear some of the other girls having 10 to go to in those 2 days and I didn't. I didn't quite understand why they didn't want me back because I felt like all of my conversations went very well. I took my schedule and went and met them all when I was supposed to even though I felt a little lackluster in comparison to some of the other girls. each girl's schedule was different but I found that mine had plenty of breaks to get some mental rest through the 2 days and get to each one on time, unlike some girls who I would see running with shoes in hand to get to another house in 10 minutes. this round was based on each sorority's specific philanthropy and what kind of events they do to raise money for that organization. after I went to all my houses I had a pretty good idea of who I felt like I fit in with and who I didn't based on the individual conversations I had and the philanthropies at different houses. I just felt more at home some places. the end of this round I was supposed to narrow it down to 8, but since I had 7 my gamma chi told me to just write them down and I would get ranked on the other side and see my results the next day. at that point I remained pretty hopeful that I would get all 7 back the next day.

round 3: sisterhood- at the beginning of this round my experience just proceeded to get worse. instead of the 7 I hoped for I had gotten 5 back, 2 of which I didn't really feel at home at. this day's dress consisted of a casual dress or skirt outfit or dressy pants and a blouse with sandals. at the start of this day I felt really insecure and had to go to my gamma chi for some guidance. I told her how I had been feeling and she listened and gave me advice and told me to "trust the process". my gamma chi was a really nice thing to have in such a stressful process especially when I would constantly hear some of the girls getting the houses back that I wanted or getting their pick of the patch when I got 5. still, I tried to keep my head up as there were 3 sororities I still wanted in my ranks so I put on my outfit and went to the houses on my schedule. that day was good and I got back home pretty much knowing I wanted to be in 1 of 2 houses. the ranks this day were narrowed down to 6 im pretty sure. this was easy for me as I knew I wanted 2 of the 5 houses I visited that day. the stress until the next day was grueling though. I remember sitting down with a couple other girls in my group that were having a pretty bad experience as well and talking it over about how we were doing.that helped a bit to know I wasn't alone.

suicide bidding-suicide bidding is when you have two sororities that want you for preference round and you only write down 1 on your bid day preference. this isn't recommended because sororities can see if you do this and take it into consideration and it lowers your chances of getting a bid on bid day because of the way the algorithm and ranking systems work.

round 4: preference- this was the day you basically make your decisions. this day you got 4 back to go visit and had to go to white hall to pick 2 at the end of your schedule to turn in to get a bid the next day. this day's dress consists of a nice dress and wedges, platforms or sandals. I remember this being the hardest day of my recruitment experience because that morning when my gamma chi brought me my bids and I looked at them, my heart fell into my chest and I started crying. I only got one of the houses I really hoped for and one of the ones I decided I didn't feel at home at earlier on. the house I had really hoped for was the only reason I did not drop out of the process because I had to hope I could get in. after going to both of the houses I met with my gamma chi who already knew what I wanted to do and she talked it through with me. after talking I decided I was going to suicide bid the one I liked and hope for the best. I chose to suicide bid because if you get a bid from a sorority you wrote down on your sheet and do not accept the bid, you cannot join a sorority for one full academic calendar year. this meant I would not be Able to participate in spring recruitment if I got a bid from the house I did not feel at home in and did not join that sorority. I swear after this decision, I felt better knowing I could participate in spring if I didn't get the house I wanted but I also got no sleep that night because I was a nervous wreck and a half.

round 5: bid day- the next day I had to hope my gamma chi didn't call me because if she did that meant I could not come to bid day because I didn't receive a bid. sure enough she did call and told me she was very sorry but I didn't get a bid and that she would come to my dorm room to talk with me soon. she came a little while later and of course I was bawling my eyes out not knowing why I wasn't good enough to get in when the rest of my group except one other girl got a bid. after that I really didn't think about going through again until I heard about Cob bidding.

cob bidding- this is when select sororities host a mini recruitment session If they did not meet new member quota during primary recruitment. if they invite you to these events and think you could be a good fit then they will offer you a bid.

in October cob bidding started and I tried my best to go to any open events I could and I actually got an email invite to a sorority that dropped me one of the first rounds. I went and there were probably 50 girls there along with me so I was sure that I wasn't going to get in but I tried anyway to make myself known and to converse with anyone and everyone I could to make an impression. I did not make the first round of bids from that sorority or any of them matter of fact and then out of blue this sorority extended a bid to me as a second round to meet quota because one of the girls they offered it to in the first round declined. so I joined and accepted my bid.

phi mu: my forever home- at the end of October I was finally a pledge for my sorority and met all the girls, went to all of the events and fell in absolute love with it. all of the girls were so down to earth and interested in who I was. they wanted me involved in things and I made genuine friends out of it. I will always feel at home there and although my recruitment experience wasn't the best, I trusted the process and will never regret that!

stay tuned for more posts about sorority life and my experiences in phi mu!

xoxo Natalie